2020 Vision

20/20 is a measure of 'normal' visual acuity. It relates to the ability to see, the sense of seeing, vision, range of sight and view. But what is a 'normal' viewpoint in a world so heavily veiled? Which version of truth are we really seeing and, if hidden truths are revealed, can we stand strong enough in our own constitution to weather the wobble in perception or will we to continue to unquestioningly believe in Santa Clause, Jesus Christ and the righteousness of war? 

The year ahead will surely test our own acuity, willingness and ability to see through illusions and misdirection as patriarchy continues to crumble and we take collective responsibility for our part in it all. 

2020 knocked on my door around Oct/Nov and, sensing great change to come, I made a commitment to work with her. The first thing she did was to blindfold me - her attempt to disable my need to know and plan and to enable my already expansive and intuitive nature. Since this last quarter of 2019 (insert long story here), I have had to work largely blindfolded as I  feel my way, pushing deeper and deeper into sensory perception, intuitive downloads and soul/energy work on a level I've never known. It's blown my mind what's happened to my work in the world - better than I could ever have dreamed of.

The other day I listened to a podcast by the beautiful Tara Brach - here. It's all about 'radical compassion' which has been the main thrust of my work during 2019. It speaks into the collective wounds we carry and elevates into unity, an old way of thinking we are separate. Again, echoing where my work has gone in '19 - and 'if I can feel it in another then it is within me'. And the last 6 months of '19 have presented me with some very dark energy around religion, abuse, oligarchy, pharmacology, food and water. These are the systems under a very keen 2020 spotlight. 

As a whole, patriarchy is crumbling to the ground-shaking footsteps of the feminine as she returns to see what's left of her earth. (and, as I type these words, my whole body shakes; my throat chakra opens.)

It's New Year's Day morning and I wake up with a voice that whispers 'Mother Teresa'. Curious, I feel into the energy. I look into her eyes in my field of vision and see sorrow and hardness. I feel tenacious yet small and lost. Knowing very little about Mother Teresa (MT), I follow the pull and begin to research. The first story to come to me speaks into the collective religious wounding that's within me. 

MT's name is connected to a child abuse story, published in the world press yesterday - here. The story details a Jesuit priest, convicted paedophile and spiritual adviser to MT and reports a new sexual abuse lawsuit by Robert Goldberg and covering potentially 40 years of abuse.

The story takes me onward to meet the writer, Christopher Hitchens. I learn of a book he wrote in 2012 called The Missionary Position; a scathing and in-depth exploration of the 'humanitarian/religious' conjunction and described thus;

"A dirty job but someone had to do it. By the end of this elegantly written, brilliantly argued piece of polemic, it is not looking good for Mother Teresa." Sunday Times (London)

Pieces are dropping into place - as predictable as a poorly written soap opera. And I'm not learning anything new (just like a poorly written soap opera!), I'm just catching up and confirming what I knew on some level.  

I do the impossible - the thing that makes a certain strand of my DNA slither, suddenly awake and nervous of being exposed and morally culpable. I google the words 'mother teresa', 'groomin...' and I can't finish typing. I go instead for 'groomed' and then my unholy fingers type in 'children'. 

And the story my strand of DNA didn't want to see is revealed to me here. July 2018 saw MT's charity being investigated for child trafficking. 

I'm not going to labour the research so discerningly captured by the writers highlighted in this blog post nor judge or measure it. We all know the truth somewhere in our body, somewhere it doesn't feel comfortable, somewhere we know it to be morally wrong. So why am I writing this?

For me - and we may all journey differently with this new energy - 2020 is bringing significant change. I have felt her for a long time now, encouraging me to lean in and radically trust in what my senses tell me. She is supporting me to lean out of judgment shock and horror as I allow myself (my inner iconoclast) to lean into some of the darkest shadow my therapy room has ever encountered and to witness.......just witness what is presenting itself for transmutation. This practice has moved me into the deepest compassion I've ever known.

I'm very excited about 2020 - she wants balance and harmonise every polarity we embody; inner/outer; right/wrong; better/worse; light/shade. We are moving out of duality and into polarity; out of separateness and into unity consciousness.

We are birthing Love Wisdom.

Happy New Year to everyone
Much Love xxx

edited 2/1/20